Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work.
At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that they are. This is true whether you like it or not.
When you fight and resist the way your life is, you create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision that destroys your effectiveness and almost always makes your situation worse.
To handle a situation, you need action, not resisting.
If you could somehow let go of your resisting, you would restore both your peace of mind and your ability to see clearly. You could then take the action you need to effectively handle this area of your life.
"Letting go" is the inner action that restores your peace of mind and allows you to see what needs to be done. It's the key to restoring your effectiveness.
The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your situation clearly. You become creative and able to discover solutions you could never have seen before.
To begin the process of letting go, let's look at the nature of fear.
Fear is created by avoiding and resisting a future event. For example, let's say that you are married and that you are resisting the possibility of your spouse leaving.
The more you resist this future event, the greater your fear. The greater your fear, the more you feel threatened and the more you hang on. This in turn pushes your spouse further and further away.
By avoiding and resisting this future possible event, you create a state of fear, upset and tunnel vision. You then act in a way that tends to bring you the very event that you are avoiding.
To have a fear lose its power, you need to do the opposite of resisting. You need to be willing for the fear to happen. You don't have to like it, just be willing.
Keep in mind that letting go is strictly a state of mind and is totally separate from your actions. Letting go is what removes the fear, upset and tunnel vision so that you can see what action you need to take.
For example, if you have a fear of losing your spouse, be willing for your spouse to leave. Do this in your heart as a state of mind, but in your actions, do everything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen.
“I love my wife and I don’t want to lose her. I’ll do everything I can to make sure she feels so loved that she would never want to leave, but if she goes, she goes.”
The moment you become willing to lose your spouse, the fear and upset lose power. The tunnel vision disappears and you become able to interact in a way that creates love and greatly increases the chances of the person staying.
Be sure and read the example at the bottom of the page.
To let go of your resistance and to restore your peace of mind, be willing for your life to be however it is and however it may become. You don't have to like it, just be willing.
You do this by granting permission. "I am willing for my spouse to leave." "I give my spouse full permission to be exactly the way he or she is." "I am willing to lose my job."
Let go of your demands and expectations for how your life should be and make peace with the way your life is. Set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.
To make the process of letting go a little easier, there are two things you can do:
The first is trust. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay. Now this doesn't mean that life will turn out the way that you want it to. Life often doesn't. Trust is knowing that however life turns out, you will be fine.
When you know that you will be fine, no matter what happens, letting go becomes relatively easy. As you let go, you restore your effectiveness and life works out great. This then reinforces the trust.
When you don't trust, life becomes threatening. You fight, resist, hang on, and withdraw. You then make everything worse, which reinforces "don't trust."
Trust is actually a choice. Trust is something you create. It's a declaration. "I will be okay no matter what happens. I trust, just because I say so."
Trust is also telling the truth. You really will be fine no matter what happens. You have had difficult times before and you have made it through every one of them.
Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be fine.
The second and most important step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel the hurt. This is important because it's the automatic avoidance of this hurt that forces us to resist.
We think that we're resisting our circumstances but we're not. We are resisting all the feelings and emotion that are being reactivated by our circumstances.
More accurately, we are resisting a very specific hurt from the past. We are resisting the hurt of feeling not good enough, worthless, not worth loving, or some other form of being not okay.
Once you find and heal this hurt, the need to resist or hang on disappears. You can then let go and take the action you need to effectively handle your situation. Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do.
This hurt is responsible for all your fear and all your upsets. It is responsible for all your self-sabotaging behavior patterns and ultimately, all of your suffering.
To learn how to heal this hurt and to be more able to flow with life, make sure you read the next two sections, Be Willing To Feel Your Hurt and Heal Your Inner Core Issues.
If you would like to heal your hurt and restore your peace of mind quickly, schedule a consulting session with Bill Ferguson or attend Bill's weekend workshop, Return To The Heart
The Mastery Of Life Audio Course and Bill's book, Get Your Power Back, also show you how to find and heal this hurt.
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